Valentines Day

We’ve decided to answer a few questions we get asked now that we are both Mothers!

Haleigh

  1. What does Valentine’s day look like since having kids? 

To begin with Devon and I aren’t that big on V-day. Our anniversary is in January so we place more importance on celebrating that and it seems to fill the love tank for a good 6 months or so. But with that being said we like to make it a fun day for our girls. Devon usually bakes us all something special. One year it was little heart shaped doughnuts, this year it’s chocolate pots de creme with heart shaped raspberry topping. For us we like to put the kids to bed early and we make a fancy ass dinner together. Dev makes us a cocktail to sip on, we play some vinyl and we take our time enjoying cooking. We always have the best time and then we down our meal in like 10 minutes!

2. What are we doing for this years V-Day? 

As mentioned above we are going to sip on some dranksss make a fancy shmancy dinner and probably talk about our children. This year it’s going to be a Taylor Fladgate Martini spiced with Apple Cinnamon Syrup and Chocolate Bitters, Sous Vide Cheesesteaks with a Cabernet Aoili and Arugula salad. It all sounds a tad intense but we love to make up our own recipes and we always have so much fun doing it!

3. How do we keep the romance alive since having kids?

Booze and sexy time of course 😉 No but actually if I’m being totally honest Devon and I don’t intentionally work too hard on keeping our love alive. I’m sure that sounds a lot worse than it actually is but we really are best friends and are pretty secure in that. I think the biggest thing we do that contributes towards that is we make sure to carve out time for us sans children. We usually put all our kids to bed at 6:30. Which probably seems aggressively early to most. But it allows us to have the evening to ourselves. We share some wine or dessert or whatever and just get to hang out the two of us. As any parents of toddlers would know it’s just nice to have an uninterrupted conversation together and it gives us the added bonus of well rested children.

 

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Heather

1. What does Valentine’s day look like since having kids? 

This is our first Valentine’s Day since having a baby!

2.What are we doing for this years V-Day? 

Every year he makes me steak and scallops with brussel sprouts because it’s my favourite! This year we’re living dangerously and switching the steak for prawns. We’ll crack open a bottle of wine and I baked some fudge brownies for Benton since I know that’s the way to his heart ❤️. We keep things pretty low key, always have.

3. How do we keep the romance alive since having kids?

I’m super wise being 5 months into this 😉

Honestly, Lovise has been such a blessing but it has really thrown us for a loop lol. Before this week she was up every hour at night. I started work in January and Benton was working 14 hour days for a stretch of time. Life became utilitarian (ie. ‘Can you take out the diaper genie trash and wipe the spit up off my back?’) and connecting was put on the back burner. We saw each other in passing and I was a tired grump.

Without a break from Lovie we were feeling disconnected so we made a pact to put our marriage first, even if she was demanding our time. Now we are intentional about taking 30 minutes each night (even if Lovie is awake) to chat or do our marriage devotional and speak positively into each other’s lives.

Marriages go through seasons, sometimes it’s great and other times it’s difficult. When we’re in the trenches I often find myself with a ‘poor me’ mentality. We went to a marriage conference a few years ago and the speaker said, ‘the problem in your marriage is you’ (barring no abuse etc). What he meant by that is marriage isn’t a ‘what can you do for me’ mentality but a ‘what can I do for you’. Romance comes to our marriage when we serve the other person joyfully (sometimes easier said than done:)).

Benton consistently shows his commitment and love for me by putting in the effort and serving our family even when I’m not the easiest person to love. Also, seeing him as a Dad is everything. I wouldn’t want to do life with anyone else!

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