Early Expectations in Marriage

When Benton and I first got married, we lived in a teeny-tiny suite. I remember the excitement as we walked through the door for the first time and how I grabbed any hand-me-downs people would offer me, being as resourceful as I could. Looking back I still remember the musty carpet and the green tub, but at the time nothing could taint our new adventure. IMG_0011
I had a lot of unrealistic expectations of myself when we first got married- one of which involved cooking every night. I grew up with a Mom who loved to cook and a Dad whose idea of cooking was grilled cheese and pickle sandwiches. He does make a mean waffle as well, but not really sustainable food groups for health. I had a high expectation that I would take on the role that my Mom did in our household. I have never been excited about cooking and so my expectation that I would somehow magically become a master chef who enjoyed putting ingredients together overnight was totally not realistic.

I remember making pad thai and being so proud of it. I put all of the ingredients together using the measuring spoons we got from our wedding. I distinctly remember thinking, “Ah, what’s the big difference between 3 tbsp and 3 tsp?” I chucked in 3 tablespoons of cayenne pepper and figured it would be totally delicious. I put the meal on our high top table and sat down to eat with Benton. With each bite we had a swift kick of cayenne pepper and each bite got worse and worse, until we were both guzzling water uncontrollably. Benton quickly excused himself from the table and I could hear him dry heaving in the bathroom!! I remember being so mortified but also thought it was so funny, if I didn’t laugh I’d cry.

I am happy to say that I have improved immensely since that day, but it has taken a lot of practice. I still don’t really enjoy cooking, but Benton is an absolutely AMAZING cook and thankfully he enjoys it. I put so much pressure on myself to be my Mom! Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be passionate about cooking, but I figure at this point our marriage works with equal share of the kitchen and we are both content with that.

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