When I first found out I was pregnant I had no problem thinking about giving birth. However, once I was a month away the reality that I had to push a bowling ball out of my lady bits was freaking me right out.
I finished work on the 1st of September (my due date was the 14th) and I had wonderful plans to get my nursery all set up and tie up some loose ends.
On September 7th I felt really off. I had bloody show for a few days but wasn’t sure if it was the real deal. I went to Cactus Club to meet my friend Amanda but I wasn’t really present… She was chatting and I just felt sick and crampy, I was the worst friend ever at that point because I didn’t even finish my dinner before telling her I needed to go! We quickly wrapped up and I came home.
That night Benton and I watched Jurassic Park and we went to bed at around 10pm. By 11pm I was having more intense contractions and moved myself onto the couch. I ran a bath and sat there wondering if it was the real deal… I had been told my baby would probably be late since it was our first!
I think I had 3 baths by the time 2:00am rolled around. I had a contraction app on my phone and it kept telling me to go to the hospital. At that point I called the midwife and she said that I shouldn’t be able to talk through the contractions and to call later in the morning. I kept labouring in the tub and on the couch.
Benton got up at around 5am to use the washroom. I told him I thought it was the real thing and he told me in his half asleep state that he had 30 more minutes to sleep before his alarm went off and went back into the bedroom! I was horrified! Haha. Anyway, he came back out shortly after (smart man) and we discussed not going to the hospital too early… I didn’t want to be sent home!
He went to work and I stayed at home. After a while the baths didn’t help my situation so I called the midwife at 8am and she told me to continue labouring and to call her in 3 hours. I ran another bath. It was fairly intense pain after a couple of hours and by the end of my home labouring the house looked like a war zone! I called Benton and he came home to find me with my pants half up sitting on the bed in pain while working through a contraction. I think at that point he realized that it was serious lol.
We drove to the hospital at 10am and hit every bump on the way there. I was hanging onto the “oh shit” handle for dear life. For whatever reason, the elevators to the maternity ward are located at the other end of the hospital and so I walked down this long hallway with people staring at me and stopping to work through my contractions. It’s not like the movies, they didn’t rush me a wheelchair!
I got into the examination room where there’s those curtains separating different stations. It felt like forever, but the midwife came in and checked me – I was 7cm dilated.
We went to our room where the wonderful nurse had run the bath for me. I thought I would be all modest and shy, but at that point I really didn’t care. I laboured in there by myself and every now and then the midwife would come and rub my back to tell me what a good job I was doing. I turned around to see Benton standing near the window in the main room looking at me, but knowing not to come near me, touch me or ask me anything. LOL. My water broke in the tub and my midwife told me that I would know when to push because my body would tell me. I remember this shuddering feeling and realizing that yep, that was the urge to push.
My midwife had me labour on the toilet for a bit and then moved me to the bed because it was time to push. Benton held one leg and the nurse held the other leg.
The baby started crowning and this random nurse appeared. She asked me to reach down and touch the hair and I shook my head vigorously. No, I don’t want to potentially feel myself tearing to shreds down there, thanks. She warned me about the burning ring of fire and I wished she’d go away and then BAM… there it was. The burning ring of fire was like nothing I have ever felt before. Ouchie Mama! I started pushing even when I wasn’t contracting (which I’m not sure was not a good thing) because I decided that I wouldn’t sit there with this head popping in and out like a turtle. No thank you. I didn’t expect it, but the nurses and midwife were cheering me on… the vibe in the room was so positive. Then the nurse said, ‘Do you want to pull the baby onto you?’ and all I remember saying was, “NO, I think I am going to puke”.
The baby came out at 1:15pm and was placed on top of me and I seriously felt overwhelmed and grossed out all at the same time. I know you’re supposed to feel this rush of love and connection but I somehow don’t think my brain had quite associated the pain of contractions with a baby coming out. Sounds weird, but true.
What a crazy feeling to have this little human crying on my body, so vulnerable and MINE and a GIRL! She was perfect in every way. It was such a beautiful moment to share with Benton and this little baby that made me a mama. We prayed for so long for this little girl to come! I remember just staring at her with so much love while she made grunting noises while she slept.
The birth was a great experience, very empowering and worth every minute of pain for this beautiful little girl we have!