Since Benton and I had so much trouble conceiving Lovise, we figured we’d give it our best shot with having a second and decided not to prevent pregnancy. We didn’t want to have the ‘what if’.
In July we moved into a new home and life was completely crazy. I was unpacking boxes and had implantation bleeding, so I left it for a couple of days to see if I would get a positive result. I really didn’t think it would happen quickly, so I was preparing for a negative result. I plopped 10 month old Lovie on the floor and took the test while she was having a meltdown. At first glance it appeared to be negative, but this time I was smarter and didn’t throw it out right away. Sure enough, there was a double line. I took another one. It was SO faint, but there. Then I drove to the grocery store and bought the expensive tests to get serious confirmation, which it gave me boldly.
My initial thought was, ‘holy crap that happened fast’. A bit of panic… a bit of excitement… a bit of dread… and thankfulness. It was the weirdest combination of feelings! I prepared myself for years of trying to conceive baby number 2 because of our infertility struggles and so to be trying for 3 months and have it happen was a bit shocking. I felt like I invested so much time and energy trying to carrying a baby the first time that it didn’t feel real. I was so thankful.
That evening when we were putting Lovie to bed I was changing her diaper and she was squealing and rolling around like babies do when you’re trying to change them. Benton was installing blinds on the window in Lovie’s room. I lifted her up and said, “You’re going to need to learn how to act like a big sister Lovie.” No reaction from Benton. So I said, “Lovie, are you going to be a big sister in April?” THEN in clicked and I got all teary. Then we had a little family hug.
I feel so blessed to be able to have another baby and add another person to our tribe. I am so thankful we are able to have more kids and look forward (with trembling) to the future!