Confessions of a 6 Week Pregnant Woman

pexels-photo-704971I am learning to NEVER go hungry. As soon as my stomach grumbles I know I’m in trouble, because I want every food on the planet but am revolted by the sight when it’s in front of me. My appetite leaves and I just feel plain old barfy, with a grumbling stomach. Also, I learned the hard way to NEVER go to bed with a grumbling stomach. In normal life, you can sleep it off. In pregnant life, you wake up with the world spinning and have a date with the porcelain express.

I am constantly hungry. I just ate a full salad and some crackers and my stomach is wondering when dinner is… that was 20 minutes ago. I am so damn hungry! And so damn barfy! Maybe I’ll be the girl that gains 100lbs with a singleton baby. In that case, bring on the cheeseburgers.

Saltine crackers are life. Really, the salty, starchy, beautiful, plain taste of that cracker is like joy to my tongue and a refuge for my belly. I am starting to question if God sent the Israelites saltine crackers as manna.

I cried the other day when a Huggies commercial came on and sang “a hug is the best cure of all” while watching moms with their little newborns. I’m not used to leaking from my eyeballs, but lo and behold, there were pregnant tears streaming down my little rosy cheeks. Something tells me I’ll be seeing more of those bad boys.

We affectionately call our little humanoid, “Barnabas” or “Barnie” for short. We will never name our child Barnabas and I have no idea why this is happening.

I would love to get my dirty paws on some Preggie Pop Drops. Women on online forums are writing about them and they sound magical. I also lust after many other food groups and have found a new best friend named Mark Wiens (it’s more of a one-sided friendship), who makes youtube videos of him eating food around the world. I watch it in my spare time. I don’t think it’s healthy, but I can’t stop.

Pregnancy does weird things to you.

 

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